The gossip-factory of traveling – Why you shouldn’t care too much about other people’s opinions

Bad opinions and prejudices often influence you in a strong way although you probably don’t want them too. Especially if you have no references and are exploring new paths every day not knowing about the actual reality. We took a short break at a local restaurant when we were traveling from Nong Khiaw in Laos to Dien Bien Puh in Vietnam in a crowded bus. An elderly man, who had been traveling from the North of Spain to Laos for years, had almost no kind words left for Vietnam after singing the praises of Laos. Theft, fraud, rude locals and much too touristy anyways. Usually the opinion of a single person who had made bad experiences wouldn’t have bothered us, but unfortunately in advance I had read similar opinions in many Internet forums. On that note the poison was injected and my mind was intoxicated even before we had crossed the border. 

We drove for another several hours after the Spaniard had stepped off the bus in Muang Kuah. Crossing the border was a practiced procedure as always, no bribery or  corruption as announced. Late at night we finally arrived in Dien Bien Puh and to be honest the city at first seemed exactly the way we had expected it to be. Chaotic traffic, filthy streets and leery glances in our direction, since we still prefer walking on our own over taking a taxi. But the first impression soon starts to dissolve like early morning fog in the mountains. On our two kilometer walk to the hotel we were busy looking for an ATM that we didn’t have to appease with a 3% fee on our withdrawal. And right away the locals watching our undertaking from the roadsides dissolved our worries with their reactions. Children, as well as adults were waving at us and called out a lighthearted “Hello!” In our direction, followed by gleeful laughter when we turned to them and waved and smiled back. We repeatedly caused amusement and aroused admiration among the locals when we passed them packed like donkeys with our huge 20 kilogram backpacks. The ice was broken, the worries had been ungrounded and our hearts were warmed for Vietnam.

Vietnam on the other hand wasn’t quite ready yet to share its warmth with us. After the recent months of tropical heat the weather in Northern Vietnam was literally throwing cold water on our hopes. A lowlight ,indeed, because the temperatures were prone to the wintery degrees our parents and friends had to endure at home at this time of the year. Low clouds and impenetrable fog often blocked our view on the beauty of the local nature and occasionally our accommodations were so damp that mould started to grow on our wash- and backpacks. We traveled through most of the North without having seen anything of the country at all, the world being covered by a thick mist all of the time. Not until Hue did we see the sun, after two weeks with fog and rain we left all our traveller’s knowledge behind and got sunburned like never before. Times like these point out how important sunshine and daylight are for a positive state of mind, that depression comes along with dark and cold weather is definitely not a myth. But as much as the bad weather influenced us negatively, the more the sunshine hours of the upcoming weeks pulled us out of our misery. Bad weather is just a part of traveling as well. 

The bad weather and additionally the brisk interest of the Vietnamese locals in us brought us more animated conversations with the local people than usual. A talkative hotel manager in Cat Ba depicted to us how diverse the interpersonal relationships in different cultures are developing in the recent years. While in the western culture there is a trend towards strong individuality, living on your own and enjoying time with yourself, traveling alone or even growing old on your own, Vietnamese people focus all of their attention preferably on a sociable family life. Passionately the man told us about the various jobs he worked that brought him to many parts of Northern Vietnam. He set himself a firm goal: He needed at least one hundred million Dong to afford a suitable wedding, preferably more money ,though, because in addition he wanted to be able to build a cozy home for his bride and future children, too, and he loved to work hard for this achievement. He had not found the suitable women yet unfortunately, but his jolly state of mind proclaimed that it shouldn’t be to hard for him to find someone in the near future. He said he was still young, had still some time left to get around in the world. But the intention was clear: a close-knit family when the time has come. Many children. The parents close, preferably in the same house. Could this be the key to happiness? It seems that to the lock that seals happiness everyone has their own unique key at the end if the day. 

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